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And it's expected that I'll add a gratuity.“Um, can I get the room service off onto a separate bill?” I ask the lady across the counter, trying in vain to cloak my embarrassment. “My company is paying for the room, but... I'll pay that separately if I can.”“Sure, no problem,” she replies. I think she's holding back a smile. “Happens all the time.” She taps away at the keyboard, heavily mascaraed eyes flicking back and forth across her monitor.“Thank you...” I try to come up with some kind of explanation, but, I don't owe her one.“You are most welcome. It's common for people to have extra expenses they don't want others to know about. Pay per view movies mostly,” she smiles, trying not to giggle. Then she adds, “Or breakfast for more than just one person.” She flashes another smile – a pretty smile, making me take notice of her relative attractiveness – and turns to attend to the whirring printer. Her smile isn't the only thing attractive about her, I think to myself as I covertly. I could hear a fairly harsh exchange of comments going on between mother and daughter, well away from the phone. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded as if Amanda was insisting that Patti take my call."Hello?" Patti." Hello, Bob." What happened to 'Bobby'?" I asked.She ignored my question. "I'm staying with my folks for a few days," she said."What about work?" I said."They've got somebody to stand in for me. The kids are all right." Wasn't that an album?" What?" 'The Kids are Alright' -- wasn't that a record album-- way back?" I don't know." By The Who." Who?" The Who! It's an old band. Ask your Dad." OK." She sounded listless."Patti." Yeah?" You know my penis?" What?" My penis... Is your mother listening on the extension?" What? No. She's not listening." You know my penis?" What are you saying?" My penis! You've seen it -- right?" Bobby. What are you..." It's not very big." What?" My penis! Focus, Patti! My penis! Remember? --The one you took into your mouth!".
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